Failure is a loser’s attribute, right? Not even close. Failure is the most important attribute of success. Think of Thomas Edison, he is recorded to have gone through 9,999 iterations of the light bulb before he got it right. Think of Abraham Lincoln, he ran for multiple offices and lost every single one until he was finally elected President. Think of William James, he failed school and dropped out of med school but soon became one of the most influential psychologists whose ideas are still used today. Do you consider these people failures or losers? Not likely.
Failure is an inevitable part of life. If you are afraid to fail you should just be afraid of air. No matter where you go, like air, the possibility of failure is there staring you in the face. I know what it’s like to be afraid to start something because the fear of failure is so strong. I know the feeling of wanting to have everything perfect before beginning a venture. It’s scary to think of what could happen. It’s scary to think about working so hard at something and it not working out.
Failure, failure, failure. We can’t get away from it. People are so fixated on how negative it is. We have this idea of win, win, win and that’s all people talk about. How often do these big shots tell about the years of debt, struggle, and scraping together any loose change to make ends meet? Why can’t we talk about failure as the most important tool for growth? Why can’t failure be seen as more of a success than “success”?
If you look at someone who is further along in life than you, it’s because they failed more than you. If you look at someone who is not as far as you are, it’s because they haven’t failed enough just yet. There is a saying out there ‘fail early so you can succeed sooner.’ This saying is an overused platitude but it has merit. If we’re going to be able to take on the possibility of failure wholeheartedly and with a smile on your face, you’re going to need to do a couple simple things.
First, you need to reevaluate why you fear failure. What went on in your life that has laid claim to your fear? What about not succeeding in something makes you nervous? If you can pin point some instances in your past that makes up your fear of failure, you’ll be able to question it and work on accepting failure as the way to succeed. Your past can wrongfully shape how you view the present. You shouldn’t want false memories, ideas, and thought from the past to distort your present view.
Second, you need to reevaluate how you view the future. How well do you handle uncertainty? Chances are, not very well. The human condition doesn’t allow a lot of room for uncertainty. We thrive off of knowing the outcome. Our brains can’t handle the notion of possibility. You should accept the unknown and be okay with uncertainty. You’ll save yourself so much pain and heartache caused by the ‘what if’ factor. No one knows the future, you can only hope for it to be good. Don’t worry about the outcome because all you can do is do your best in the moment.
And third, be present 110%. After you can come to terms with what causes your fear of failure you need to live in the moment. Question your past experiences because our memories and beliefs are not reliable, unfortunately. You cannot focus on what you are trying to accomplish if you are focused on what could happen. If you’re focused on the outcome, you cannot pay attention on the present-it’s impossible. You need all your brain power to perform at its peak. You should be comfortable with trusting your brain, it’s amazing. Your brain will provide the knowledge, ideas, and ability to succeed.
Fear of failure is ultimately fear of our own capabilities, meaning we don’t trust ourselves. You’ve probably put yourself down too much, compared yourself unrealistically, or you seem to put too much unnecessary pressure on yourself. All you can do is be your best in the moment. If your intended result doesn’t manifest, then you should know it wasn’t your fault but rather not the right moment or try again.
Think about this, the only real failure is never trying.